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Exhibition

Donald McGill

YE'D LIKE A LARGE PORT, EH? WELL, YE CAN BE LOOKIN' AT MA BONNY WEE PHOTOS OF SOUTHAMPTON, WHILES I GET MASEL' A DROP O' WHISKEY!	I KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOME GOOD INFORMATION FOR THE BIG RACE	GOSH THAT WAS A BAD ACCIDENT IN ABERDEEN! A TAXI-CAB OVER-TURNED AN' EIGHT O' THE PASSENGERS WERE INFUSED!!
LOOK AT ME AFTER A WEEK HERE - AND I CAME DOWN FOR MY RHEUMATISM TOO!	'YOU LOOK PALE TONIGHT MABEL' 'WELL, SAY SOMETHING TO MAKE ME BLUSH'	I SLEEP WITH MY WINDOW OPEN AS EVERYBODY SHOULD AND I GET THE SEA BREEZES WHERE THEY DO ME MOST GOOD!
'SO I DON'T LOOK LIKE AN OLD WOMAN NOW I'VE HAD MY HAIR CUT SHORT, EH BOBBY?' 'NO - YOU LOOK LIKE AN OLD MAN!'	THERE'S ONLY ONE THING PREVENTS ME CALLING YOU A BARE-FACED LIAR - YOU HAVEN'T SHAVED THIS MORNING!	'AH! I'VE CAUGHT YOU - I JUST SAW YOU LEAVING THE FISHMONGERS!' 'MY LOVE, I CAUGHT SO MANY THAT I HAD TO SELL SOME!'
I NEVER KNEW ANYONE WHO KNEW LESS ABOUT MORE THINGS THAN YOU DON'T!!	COME ON! YOU DON'T WANT SILK - YOU WANT MUZZLIN!	'THE BRIDE WAS GIVEN AWAY BY HER FATHER' 'THAT'S MORE THAN YOUR FATHER DID - HE LET ME FIND OUT FOR MYSELF!'