PHIL MAY, RI RP NEAC (1864-1903)

A DUET	SIR WILLIAM ALLAN	LOAFER: "ANY CHANCE OF A JOB O' WORK 'ERE MISTER? FOREMAN. NO. WE'RE NOT WANTING ANY MORE HANDS HANDS NOW! LOAFER 'WELL THE LITTLE BIT O' WORK I'D DO WOULDN'T MAKE NO DIFFERENCE
YOUNGSTER (WHO HAS JUST GOT A PENNY TO SPEND): 'OW MUCH IS THEM GRAPES MISTER?' SHOPKEEPER (AMUSED). 'THEY ARE FOUR SHILLINGS AND SIXPENCE A POUND , MY LAD.' YOUNGSTER. ' WELL ,THEN, GIVE US A 'APORTH O' CARROTS. I'M A DEMON FOR FRUIT	MAMMA: 'TOMORROW'S XMAS DAY, EFFIE DEAR, AND YOU WILL GO TO CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME. (ENCOURAGINGLY.) THERE WILL BE BEAUTIFUL MUSIC -' EFFIE: 'OH, MUMMY DEAR, MAY I DANCE?'
IN THE PARK - TEMPERANCE ORATOR	NOT A WATER DRINKER. TALKATIVE OLD LADY (DRINKING A GLASS OF MILK, TO ENTHUSIASTIC TEETOTALER, WHO IS DOING DITTO), "YES, SIR, SINCE THEY'RE BEGUN POISONING THE BEER, WE MUST DRINK SOMETHING, MUSTN'T WE?"	STANDING AT THE BAR