PHIL MAY, RI RP NEAC (1864-1903)

PLEASE MUM. THE LIDY WOT WASHES THE STEPS FOR THAT WOMAN WHICH LIVES OPPOSITE SAYS AS YOU WANTS A GIRL	THE END	I AIN'T SUCH A SILLY FOOL AS YOU THINK I AM. WELL. I ALWAYS THOUGHT SO.
STUDY OF AN OLD FRIEND	THE MAJOR. 'YES, BY JOVE. ALL THAT CONFOUNDED DRINK. THE ONE LOWERING THE OTHER!'	EASTER MONDAY 'ARRY: 'DO YOU PASS ANY PUBS ON THE WAY TO BROADSTAIRS, CABBY?' CABBY: 'YES, LOTS' 'ARRY: 'WELL DON'T!'
A DUET	SIR WILLIAM ALLAN	LOAFER: "ANY CHANCE OF A JOB O' WORK 'ERE MISTER? FOREMAN. NO. WE'RE NOT WANTING ANY MORE HANDS HANDS NOW! LOAFER 'WELL THE LITTLE BIT O' WORK I'D DO WOULDN'T MAKE NO DIFFERENCE
YOUNGSTER (WHO HAS JUST GOT A PENNY TO SPEND): 'OW MUCH IS THEM GRAPES MISTER?' SHOPKEEPER (AMUSED). 'THEY ARE FOUR SHILLINGS AND SIXPENCE A POUND , MY LAD.' YOUNGSTER. ' WELL ,THEN, GIVE US A 'APORTH O' CARROTS. I'M A DEMON FOR FRUIT	MAMMA: 'TOMORROW'S XMAS DAY, EFFIE DEAR, AND YOU WILL GO TO CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME. (ENCOURAGINGLY.) THERE WILL BE BEAUTIFUL MUSIC -' EFFIE: 'OH, MUMMY DEAR, MAY I DANCE?'
IN THE PARK - TEMPERANCE ORATOR	NOT A WATER DRINKER. TALKATIVE OLD LADY (DRINKING A GLASS OF MILK, TO ENTHUSIASTIC TEETOTALER, WHO IS DOING DITTO), "YES, SIR, SINCE THEY'RE BEGUN POISONING THE BEER, WE MUST DRINK SOMETHING, MUSTN'T WE?"	STANDING AT THE BAR