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"HOW DO THEY EXPECT US TO STAY OBESE?"
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"GONE TO THE WALL STREET"
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MEDI OCHRE PAINT
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THE POST-NIGELLA PERIOD
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MONET'S DOG
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CELEBRITY AUTHOR
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"IF IT'S TITILLATING REVELATIONS YOU WERE HOPING FOR, YOU'LL HAVE TO LOOK ELSEWHERE"
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MONARCH'S BLOCK
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FINANCIAL ADVICE
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FEEDING BREAD TO THE DUCKS
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THE PSYCHIATRIST'S COUCH
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"WELL AT LEAST SOME GOOD MAY COME OUT OF ALL THIS ...
WE MAY NEVER NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT DERIVATIVES ARE!"
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"I SOLD THE LUCIAN FREUD AND BOUGHT THIS"
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CHRISTMAS COMES EARLY
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"I REMEMBER IT WELL - IT WAS WHEN I CREOSOTED THE TRELLIS"
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"BAD NEWS - WE'RE ALLOWED TO STAY IN BRITAIN"
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SUICIDE BULL
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" - AND DELIVER US FROM SHORT-SELLERS..."
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"I'VE GOT NOTHING AGAINST BANKERS, BUT YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO LIVE NEXT DOOR TO ONE"
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"BRING ME YOUR COMMIE BANKING SYSTEMS"
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"WE'LL HAVE TO GO TO THE IMF"
"WE ARE THE IMF"
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JUST WHAT I WANTED!
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I'VE DONE IT!
I'VE FINISHED WRITING MY BOOK ABOUT TEENAGERS
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THESE "VIP FRONT ROW" TICKETS WERE A TOTAL RIP-OFF
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'YOU CAN TAKE THE MAN OUT OF TUNBRIDGE WELLS, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THE TUNBRIDGE WELLS OUT OF THE MAN'
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SOLAR PANEL
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SO WHAT IS AN OLD-STYLE PENSION?
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STRUT IN BATH
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LEAVE IT, GOLIATH, HE ISN'T WORTH IT
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MATERNITY WARD
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IT'S CHEAPER THAN INSTALLING A BATHROOM
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YOU SHOULD TRY AND TAKE THINGS EASIER, MR BLUE ARSE!
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THE HEADHUNTERS MESSED UP AGAIN
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CITY OF ROME
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GHENTS
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AFRICAN ELEPHANT MAN
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WINE CIRCLE
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I'D GET OFF THAT TUFFET AND GO EASY ON THE CURDS
AND WHEY IF I WERE YOU, MISS MUFFET?
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NATIONAL GALLERY COFFEE SHOP
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YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO POOR OR TOO FAT
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YOU'VE GOT TO NICK A NOKIA OR TWO
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IT'S ALL ABOUT AN OBSESSIONAL CRUSH
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NOW I CAN'T READ MY BOOK - ALL THE PAGES HAVE GOT STUCK TOGETHER WITH SUN CREAM
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PUB BORE AWARD
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YOU CAN HEAR ALDEBURGH RESIDENTS SEETHING
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JOANNA TROLLOPE
BEST OF FRIENDS
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CHANGE BANKS? BUT WE'RE MORE LIKELY TO DIVORCE!
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ID PARADE
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AT LEAST WE'RE ALL SINGING FROM THE SAME HYMN SHEET
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WHY DON'T PENGUIN'S FEET FREEZE?
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IT'S MY PENSION
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EASYJET. PEASYJET. LEMONSQUEEZYJET
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I'M DRINKING TO FORGET THE SMOKING BAN
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HE STARTED KICKING SO THEY GAVE HIM AN ASBO!
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THAT'S NO DUMMY - THAT'S MY HUSBAND
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IF BEATRIX POTTER WERE ALIVE TODAY....
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QUEEN'S 80TH BIRTHDAY
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BONO WILL SEE YOU NOW
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FREECRAP
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ITV
EXECUTIVE WHEELBARROWS ON ICE
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NUCLEAR SKILLS ACADEMY
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THIS IS THE PRAT IN THE SEAT BEHIND YOU SPEAKING...
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MORE HRT, VICAR?
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| | |
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'WHAT'S MYSTERIOUS ABOUT LIFE?'
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