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HAVING A LAUGH! - THE BRITISH ART OF THE CARTOON

24 APRIL - 31 MAY 2007

A selection of some of Britain’s best-loved cartoonists (and some of the most reviled) from publications such as The Times, Private Eye, Daily Express, Evening Standard, Punch and many more. Including contemporary political satire of the peerless Peter Brookes, hilarious gags from punchline masterminds Ed McLachlan and Mike Williams, down to earth dark humour from Tony Husband, wry social observation from Nick Newman and Kipper Williams and as usual, some of the best British cartoons of the last 100 years from such masters as H M Bateman, Bill Hewison, Vicky and Giles.

Monday - Saturday, 10am - 5.30 pm

For further details on each picture, please click on the images or their titles

WELL - I MUST SAY THAT YOUR VERY LUCKY MADAM TO HAVE A HUSBAND WHO'S SUCH A GOOD LOSER	JUST A MINUTE GEORGE.....	YOUR FATHER JUST ADORES ALL THOSE TV HOSPITAL SERIES
EDGAR WALLACE ENTERTAINS A FEW OF HIS ACQUAINTANCES	"PR...PR...".	HOPE YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THOSE BACK SEAT DRIVERS - HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HE'LL TRY ANYTHING TO GET A LOOK AT MY GIRLIE CALENDAR !	JUDITH? JUDITH? I DON'T KNOW ANY JUDITH...	HOLD ON - LET ME MAKE A NOTE OF THE PAGE NUMBER
PERHAPS THIS WILL REFRESH YOUR MEMORY	RONNIE - YOU'RE INCORRIGIBLE!	I'LL HAVE A FRESH HAM AND SALAD ROLL TO TAKE AWAY
THANK GOODNESS THAT LOT IS FINISHED	WELL, WELL, IF IT ISN'T MY FEATHERED FRIEND COME TO SAY A PERSONAL GOODBYE	HELLO?-LOOKS AS THOUGH MY LUCK IS IN
I'VE DECIDED TO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ROMANCE BETWEEN MARY OF THE SWITCHBOARD AND YOUNG JACKSON OF MYLES AND RUDGE LTD...	GOOD HEAVENS! MY IN-TRAY IS EMPTY!!!	THE TWELVE LABELS OF HERCULES
"OF COURSE YOU SHOULD REALLY SEE IT WHEN THE FLOWERS AREN'T OUT."	PRESSING ON	'ONE MORE PUSH, DI, AND WE'LL HAVE 'EM!'
AT THE THIRD STROKE	"YES WE OPTED FOR THE PERMA-MUDSLASH, BUT SAID NO TO THE CROSS-COUNTRY DISTRESSING"	"YOU TAKE IT, MISS PHILPOT- IT'S THAT HYPOCHONDRIACAL PARROT AGAIN"
"NO, NOT STOCKHAUSEN - I'D SAY EARLY HARRISON BIRTWHISTLE"	"NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE, YOU WOULDN'T CARE TO MOW THE TEN-ACRE PADDOCK, WOULD YOU?"	"I HAD THAT ROLF HARRIS IN MY CAB THIS MORNING"
"BUT REMEMBER , HEADACHES CAN BE PSYCHOSOMATIC"	ZIMMER IS ICUMEN IN, LOUDLY SING CUKU	WELL PROFESSOR, WE'VE DONE IT. CREATED THE WORLDS MOST INTELLIGENT SHEEP. WHAT CAN I GET YOU? NO NO..LET ME GET THESE
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOUR TROUSERS OFF?	SOUP OF THE DAY'S CRAP BY THE WAY	MOTHER WAYS STOP WITTERING IN THE BACKGROUND YOU GOB SHITE
STOP WHINGING. I THINK IT'S NICE WHEN A HUSBAND AND WIFE CAN WORK TOGETHER	I'VE SORTED OUT THE PROBLEM WITH THE NEIGHBOURS	MR MOSTON'S NOT HERE AT THE MOMENT BUT HE'S ASKED ME TO TELL YOU YOUR FIRED
YOU DO THE HOKEY-COKEY AND YOU TURN AROUND...THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT	OH WOW..SHE CAN TEST MY EYES ANYTIME!	FEELING STRESSED DEAR, PROBABLY A TOUCH OF PRE MINSTREL TENSION
I LOVE RED NOSE DAY. IT GIVES ME CHANCE TO EXPRESS MYSELF	I THOUGHT YOU JUST GAVE THEM AN INJECTION	FOR GODS SAKE SLOW DOWN HIGSON, SPEED CAMERA
TOM SAYS YOU PLAY THE CELLO	STOP WHINGING, EVERYONE PEES IN THE POOL DON'T THEY?	DOGS THAT LOOK LIKE THEIR OWNERS COMPETITION
...WELL INVOLVE YOUR WIFE MORE IN GOLF LIKE I DID	DEAR MUM AND DAD, HAVE FOUND A FRIEND...	YOU'RE RIGHT, WE HAVE STOPPED
THE NEW CARPET'S ARRIVED, SHOES OFF!!	'SCUSE ME. YOU DROPPED THIS!	YO BITCH, WHATS 'APPENIN?
IT'S VERY NICE BUT I THINK DEFENSIVELY THE CONSERVATORY WILL BE OUR WEAK SPOT	HELLO, YOU'RE EARLY	YOUR CAT KEEPS DOING ITS BUSINESS IN MY GARDEN
TCH, HAVE YOU SEEN HOW HE'S SPELT CRITICISM?	EARLY SMOKING BAN	ACCIDENT HERE DID YOU SEE ANYTHING CONTACT POLICE
TWO BY TWO	IT WAS BRENDA'S LAST WISH, THAT I INVITE OUR CLOSEST FRIENDS ROUND AND EAT HER	YES?
DAMN THEY'VE SPOTTED US	SINCE WE GOT COMPUTERISED. IT'S SO MUCH EASIER... RIGHT POST CODE...	'PEOPLE SAY THIS IS THE LONGEST ESCALATOR IN THE WORLD.' 'THEY WERE RIGHT.'
ACCIDENT HERE DID YOU SEE ANYTHING CONTACT POLICE	YES FATHER, I CUT DOWN THE CHERRY TREE.. I'D ALSO LIKE 40 OTHER OFFENCES TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION	JANICE GET ME 50P FROM PETTY CASH WILL YOU
CLAIMS 24/7? LISTEN, I'D LIKE TO SUE MY SUNDAY NEWSPAPER	BIFF! BOP!	CAN YOU TAKE ME SOMEWHERE I CAN SMOKE?
NO SON, THAT'S NOT WHERE THE WiND COMES FROM	I THINK WE SPOIL THAT CHILD	I REALLY HATE IT WHEN MOBILE PHONES GO OFF
I TOLD YOU THAT FAN WAS TOO LOW!	WE'LL HAVE TO BE CAREFUL, MY HUSBAND'S WORKING ON A DEMOLITION SITE ROUND THE CORNER	ITS GOOD TO SEE THE POLICE DOING SOMETHING TO STOP THIS KNIFE CULTURE
I KNEW NEXT DOOR WOULD STRUGGLE WITH THE NEW HEDGETRIMMER	JOYCE, IT'S MAUREEN. WE WERE TRYING TO REMEMBER, IS YOUR ERIC STILL ALIVE?	YES, IT'S A ROUGH AREA..MORNING VICAR
ALLRIGHT, ALLRIGHT.. IF IT GETS ANY HIGHER I'LL RING A PLUMBER	OH DEAR, TRIP OVER A CRACK IN THE PAVEMENT DID WE SIR.. WHY NOT COME AND SEEK OUR ADVICE ON MAKING A CLAIM	HELLO MISSES, GOT ANY ANTS NEED EATING?
THIS PITCH IS GETTING WORSE	I LOVE OUR BABY RACING MORNINGS!	THE BAR BARBLACKSHEEP
STOP WHINGING. EVERYONE PEES IN THE POOL, DON'T THEY?	I REMEMBER YOU WHEN YOU WERE THIS HIGH	GOT ANY SLUGS YOU WANT GETTING RID OF MISSUS?
ERM, CAN I JUST CONFIRM THAT YOU ARE IN FANCY DRESS	THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT SHOOTING - IT TRANSCENDS ALL BARRIERS!	THE END OF THE ARMS RACE IS NIGH
HENRI ROUSSEAU - VISIT TO BRITAIN 1907	RODIN'S UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT	AFTER SUPPER IN EMMAUS
CAFE TERRACE. CHRISTMAS NIGHT.	FOOTBALL MATCH, SAINT REMY, EVENING KICK OFF	A LIGHT SUCTION
VERMEER'S JUNK MAIL	SCULPTURE BY NUMBERS	RODIN'S CLEANING LADY
MASTERMIND	RODIN'S ROOFING CONTRACTOR	ROYAL ACADEMY RESTAURANT MENU
YES!	HOLY BOX	THE VIRGIN SOLDIER, EDVARD MUNCH
TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR F.C. - WILDLIFE CONSERVATION PROJECT	LADIES SOCCER HINTS APPEALING TO THE REF	WOMEN'S INTERNATIONAL: ENGLAND V AFGANISTAN
RODIN'S MUSIC LOVERS	RELIGIOUS POLICE	THE SUPPER AT EMMAUS (PRESENTATION OF THE BILL)
SKETCHLEY DRY CLEANING	MOMENTS IN FOOTBALL	"ICE CREAM VANS ARE NOT WHAT THEY WERE IN MY DAY."
DODGEMS SPEED CAMERAS	PROBABLY IF YOUR SON WORE HIS HOOD A LITTLE LESS....	"MORE OUT OF WORK CALL CENTRE WORKERS"
THE FIRST DRIVE-BY SHOOTING	KUNG FOOD	HOW TO INCORPORATE THE ARMS
HOLD IT JUST A MINUTE!	WHY DON'T THEY JUST RETIRE GRACEFULLY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?	WE'RE TRYING TO APPEAL TO THE ETHNIC MINORITY GROUPS THAT HAVE MOVED INTO OUR VILLAGE RECENTLY
THE AGE DISCRIMINATION ACT IS STARTING TO BITE, I SEE	COSA NOSTRA	LOVERS LEAP
ANY CAR FOUND PARKED OUTSIDE THIS BUILDING WILL BE CLUMPED	SAY IT WITH FLOWERS	IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS
SOWING SEEDS	WHERE'S THAT WAITER WITH OUR FISH COURSE	GOING FISHING
THE KING'S HEAD	"THESE NEW REAR SPOILERS CERTAINLY HELP YOU TO GO FASTER"	NOW SIR, YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT ABOUT THE WATERPROOF WATCH YOU BOUGHT FROM US LAST WEEK.
HE WAS A DOOR TO DOOR SALESMAN.	AH YES - YOU'RE THE BOY WHO WANTS TO BE A PIMP	HELLO - THIS IS WAYNE - HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY DISGRACEFUL! - WHEN WAS THIS ROOM LAST CLEANED!?!	THE MOST INTELLIGENT CREATURE IN THE OCEAN-DID YOU KNOW THEY CAN COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER?	8 DIRECTORSHIPS OR LESS
RAF PILOTS, RETIREMENT HOME	YOUR CV SAYS YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS WORKING WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX & ALSO THAT YOU ARE FULL OF UNEXPECTED SURPRISES	'HE JUST SAID HIS FIRST WORD.'
SIESTA	AH, MRS PLANKHURST, COME IN AND TELL ME, DID THE YOGA I RECOMMENDED YOU TO DO HELP TO EASE YOUR BACK PAIN?	AH YES - YOU'RE THE BOY WHO WANTS TO BE A PIMP
THE HAND DRIER	BED OF NAILS	GET A LIFE GUARD
IT WAS HIS LAST WISH	DISABLED PARKING	CAVEMEN
OUR COFFINS ARE MADE TO ORDER AND FASHIONED TO AN EXTREMELY HIGH STANDARD BY OUR OWN EXPERIENCE AND DEDICATED CRAFTSMAN	Z CARS	WE HAVEN'T HAD A SINGLE CUSTOMER IN FOR THE BOOK SIGNING SO FAR, MR TURVEY
GOOD NEWS, MR BOLSOVER - WE THINK YOU HAVE A DEFINITE CASE AGAINST THE SURGEON WHO CARRIED OUT YOUR EYE OPERATION	ROYAL SOCIETY FOR THE PREVENTION OF ACCIDENTS	SORRY WE'VE BEEN SO LONG GETTING ROUND TO YOUR REPAIR - HOPE IT'S NOT BEEN TOO MUCH OF A CONVINIENCE
A GREAT SHAME - IN HIS DAY HE WAS ONE OF BRITAIN'S GREATEST JUGGLING ACTS	BUGGER!	NINJA TOASTER
SILENCE	WELL SO MUCH FOR GOING GREEN - SOLAR PANELS INDEED!	'EVEN IF THEY DO GET YOU INTO THE TEAM, CYNTHIA. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BOWL WITH?'
'WELL I WOULD'VE BEEN QUITE HAPPY WATCHING ALL THE OLD CHRISTMAS REPEATS ON T.V."	CREASE IS STILL A BIT DAMP ...	'WINTER DRAFTS'
		'DON'T TELL ME, YOU'RE SENDING THAT BOY OUT TO BUY YOUR CIGARETTES AGAIN!'
ENGLAND TEAM VICTORY BUS	I'M ON HOLD - I CAN HEAR HANDEL'S WATER MUSIC	OH NO! THE COW'S BURNING UP ON RE-ENTRY
GOOD HEAVENS - A YUMMY MUMMY	NOT NOW - IT'S THE ARCHERS !	WHAT DID YOU GET YOUR PEERAGE FOR? ABOUT A MILLION QUID
I CAN'T AFFORD ERMINE - I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON THE PEERAGE	"THE WORST THING ABOUT BEING A JUNIOR DOCTOR IS THE LONG HOURS OUT OF WORK"	I'M OFF - I CAN'T BEAR THE NANNY STATE
CELEBRITY, N.(L.CELEBRARE): SOMEONE YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF	DEATH, WAR - MEET PLAGUE	SHE'S NOT AS GOOD AS HELEN MIRREN
THE ROLLING STONES NEED HELP THROWING THEIR TV OUT OF THE WINDOW	IT RUNS ON MONEY	WHERE'S THE NEAREST SUPERCASINO
I'M WORRIED ABOUT GETTING TYPECAST	JANE'S FIGHTING SHIP	HI - I'M ON THE TRAIN
PUSSYCAT PUSSYCAT FLAP	"NOW LET ME DO THE TALKING"	PUNCH AND JUDY
BUSINESS CLASS	TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR TEAM AROMATHERAPIST	GOD IS DEAD! SO ARE DARWIN, FREUD AND MARX... SO THERE!
THE POLITICAL ZOO	DEAR 'INCAPACITATED' OF CHEAM	1966. H WILSON RE-APPLIES.
JOHN MAJOR THE RETURN FROM RIO	MAINTENANCE	JUST COME OUT OF HOSPITAL (JAHST CALM ITE ORV HORSE-PIDDLE)
IAN MCEWAN THE INNOCENT	MOST PATIENTS WHO VISIT THE DOCTOR HAVE NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM	SOMEHOW IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME THAT IF I LIVED TO BE NINETY-SIX I'D BE NINETY-SIX FOR ALL ETERNITY
'NONSENSE!' 'HAVE A QUIET WORD WITH HIM LATER - THE LAST THING WE NEED IS AN UGLY SCENE...'	'JOHN REID WANTS TO KNOW WHO RADICALISED THE CAT...'	'RUDDY PARKING WARDENS - I ONLY INVENTED THE WHEEL ABOUT HALF AN HOUR AGO!'
'YOU CAN TAKE THE MAN OUT OF TUNBRIDGE WELLS, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THE TUNBRIDGE WELLS OUT OF THE MAN'	QUEEN'S 80TH BIRTHDAY	WHY DON'T PENGUIN'S FEET FREEZE?
PUB BORE AWARD	NOW I CAN'T READ MY BOOK - ALL THE PAGES HAVE GOT STUCK TOGETHER WITH SUN CREAM	PHEASANTS ROAD SAFETY COURSE
THIS IS THE PRAT IN THE SEAT BEHIND YOU SPEAKING...	NUCLEAR SKILLS ACADEMY	THIS IS GETTING SPOOKY - WE HAVEN'T SEEN A TESCO FOR FIVE HUNDRED YARDS
FRANKFURT PRIVATE EQUITY CONFERENCE	ITV EXECUTIVE WHEELBARROWS ON ICE	FREECRAP
BONO WILL SEE YOU NOW	AUSTEN MANIA	IF BEATRIX POTTER WERE ALIVE TODAY....
I'M DRINKING TO FORGET THE SMOKING BAN	AT LEAST WE'RE ALL SINGING FROM THE SAME HYMN SHEET	ID PARADE
CHANGE BANKS? BUT WE'RE MORE LIKELY TO DIVORCE!	IT USED TO BE THE GREAT AND THE GOOD....	WHY DO WE HATE THE WEST?
TEA DRINKING IN DECLINE	'WHAT'S MYSTERIOUS ABOUT LIFE?'	THAT'S NO DUMMY - THAT'S MY HUSBAND
IT'S MY PENSION	GREEN BUILDINGS CONFERENCE	JOANNA TROLLOPE BEST OF FRIENDS
YOU CAN HEAR ALDEBURGH RESIDENTS SEETHING	SO WHAT IS AN OLD-STYLE PENSION?	PICK YOUR OWN FUEL
SOLAR PANEL	SCHOOL SPORTS DAY MOTHER'S RACE	MORE HRT, VICAR?
HE STARTED KICKING SO THEY GAVE HIM AN ASBO!	EASYJET. PEASYJET. LEMONSQUEEZYJET	IF THE KIDS ARE HAPPY, WE'RE HAPPY
IT'S ALL ABOUT AN OBSESSIONAL CRUSH	YOU'VE GOT TO NICK A NOKIA OR TWO	YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO POOR OR TOO FAT
NATIONAL GALLERY COFFEE SHOP	I'D GET OFF THAT TUFFET AND GO EASY ON THE CURDS AND WHEY IF I WERE YOU, MISS MUFFET?	RAT NAV
WINE CIRCLE	AFRICAN ELEPHANT MAN	BROWN'S CHARM OFFENSIVE
THE HEADHUNTERS MESSED UP AGAIN	YOU SHOULD TRY AND TAKE THINGS EASIER, MR BLUE ARSE!	MATERNITY WARD
LEAVE IT, GOLIATH, HE ISN'T WORTH IT	STRUT IN BATH	CALL ME OLD-FASHIONED
GHENTS	INTEREST RATES BITE	CITY OF ROME
IT'S CHEAPER THAN INSTALLING A BATHROOM	MAN IN SHOWER DAVID HOCKNEY	I'LL SAY THEY'RE MAD - THERE'S ONE OVER THERE THINKS HE'S NAPOLEON
CHACUN A SON GOAT	OH, DEAR! THAT'S SUCH A PITY! BECAUSE AS A FROG HE WAS A REALLY GREAT SWIMMER	MM...LEFTOVERS
I SAID, IF THIS IS DECLINE IT SURE AS HELL BEATS PROGRESS	'WELL, THANK GOODNESS COMMON SENSE HAS PREVAILED AND ROONEY'S AGENT HAS LET THE REFEREE OFF WITH JUST A SEVERE WARNING'	"OH NO! NOT THE '23 !! "
ACTOR AND PROMPT	"THE SPHERE OF DEVINE SELF-BEGGETING AND CREATION.... YOU WANNA MATT OR YOU WANNA GLOSS?"	"WELL OF COURSE IT'S OFF!! EVERYONE KNOWS, EYE OF NEWT IS SUPPOSED TO BE OFF!!!"
"WELL, SO MUCH FOR THE OLD GOLDEN HANDSHAKE."	THEY NEVER FORGET	WE CLOSE AT SIX!
...AND THAT WON'T WAKE ME EITHER	ONE OF THE REALLY NICE THINGS ABOUT THE SPRING IS BEING ABLE TO TURN THE CENTRAL HEATING DOWN A LITTLE	AYE! WELL, WHA'EVER IT IS, THEY WERE SURE BREWIN' A HELL OF A LOT OF IT, EH? JIMMY?
TO BE TRUTHFUL I'D NEVER REALISED THAT HE WORE A CONTACT LENS	UNACCUSTOMED AS I'LL GET TO PUBLIC SPEAKING	'RESERVOIR DOGES'
OF ALL THE NERVE!! MAKING US SIT THROUGH THE WHOLE OF THEIR BAYEUX TAPESTRIES!!	SAILING FROM DEATH	RIGHT LAD, THAT'S TWO GUINNESS, A WHITE WINE, TWO PACKETS OF SMOKEY BACON CRISPS AND A HEMLOCK
WE'RE LEAVING BUNTY! THEY ALLOW SMOKING IN THE CAR PARK!!	HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!....THAT'S NOT US!	POSTMAN AND SNOWMAN
GOTT IN HIMMEL! SOMEBODY MUST HAVE A FRANC!!	I'M THINKING OF HAVING MY TOOTH CAPPED.	THEY'LL BE UNBEARABLE WHEN THEY GET THE SWIMMING POOL.
ILLFRIG THE INEFFECTUAL 760 - 792	OH, COME ON CHRIS, THE WORLD'S FLAT, THE BEER'S FLAT AND LET'S FACE IT THE BARMAIDS AREN'T EXACTLY OVERBLOWN.	SIR WALTER! OVER HERE!
DON'T GET ME WRONG, I DO APPRECIATE IT, I JUST WOULDN'T MIND HOLING IN TWO OCCASIONALLY.	FIVE MINUTES EVERYBODY!	WELL, IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE JET-LAG TO ME.
WE ARE NOW ENTERING THE VERY CENTRE OF MOUNT RUSHMORE	"I'D LOVE TO DEAREST, BUT IT'S THE NOISE...I CAN'T BEAR THE APPALLING NOISE"	"GREAT NEWS YOUR MAJESTY! THE KENNEL CLUB IS THINKING OF NAMING A SPANIEL AFTER YOU!"
MORE CONTEMPORARY RUBBISH	"SEE YOU AFTER THE MATCH MUM"	I REMEMBER HIM WHEN WHEN HE WAS JUST IN MINE DETECTION
PICK YOUR OWN TUMOURS	GREAT NEWS YOUR MAJESTY! THE KENNEL CLUB IS THINKING OF NAMING A SPANIEL AFTER YOU!	ET TU BRUTUS
DALI	THIS IS ANOTHER FINE MESS I''VE GOT US INTO	GOTT IN HIMMEL! SOMEBODY MUST HAVE A FRANC!!
FOAL ON BOARD	IT SAYS, DEAR GANG, HAVING A REALLY GREAT TIME, WISH YOU WERE HERE, ROBIN	DIAL-A PIZZA
SHE GETS TOO HUNGRY FOR DINNER AT EIGHT	MAYBE WE SHOULD CHANGE OUR SPONSOR	SORRY LUVVIE....I'VE DRIED
'ERE, I FORGOT AGAIN......WHAT COMES AFTER 'ERE WE GO?	HEADER GOALIE!	NOW PUT YOUR LEFT ARM UNDER YOUR LEFT KNEE AND BRING YOUR HAND ROUND TO GRASP YOUR RIGHT ANKLE. THAT'S GOOD! NOW, SUPPORTING YOUR BODY ON YOUR RIGHT HAND, SWING YOUR BODY
NASTY SANTA: 'BOMBING RUN'	MUMMY! DADDY'S FOUND MILLIONS OF TINY LITTLE CRABS IN HIS BATH WATER!	NASTY SANTA: A MISSILE ATTACK
PERHAPS IT'S SIMPLY RUN OUT OF PETROL, DEAR.	YOUR BLOODY IDIOT, GORDON! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE THAT CORNER SO FAST!	THE CONVERSATION PIECE
'BUT DAD! I DON"T WANT A TRAIN SET!'	WORTHLESS PURSUITS NO 2 OFFERING THE LION A DOG BISQUIT	WORTHLESS PURSUITS NO 6 TRAINING TORTOISES TO JUMP THROUGH HOOPS OF FIRE
THE MASTER OF THE HOUNDS	DO YOU KNOW YOUR SHOELACE IS UNDONE?	GAYE - ARE YOU CROSS WITH ME?
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE ONE OF GEORGE	FIRST THE GOOD NEWS	NOW HERE AT LAST THE VERY SPECIAL SHOW YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITNG FOR
NOW IF I PICK UP HER HANKY GAYE MAY THINK....	OH! NO! NO! NO! NO!	PAINTED LADY
CAT & MOUSE GAMES	''AS A JUNIOR PARTNER YOU'LL BE EXPECTED TO WORK IN HERE'' EXPLAINED HOPKINS	FROG SCUBA DIVER
CULTIVATION OF THE PEAR (PYRUS DISASTROUS)	OARS	PEN POTS
WOMENS SOCCER	PLOUGH	HOT WATER BOTTLE
WAY OUT IN CHEYENNE TERRITORY, THE FIRST TEST IS NOT GOING AT ALL WELL	BIG AL WASN'T ABOUT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES	''I THINK YOU'LL FIND THAT'S MY CAPUCCINO!'' SNAPPED ERIC SOMEWHAT PETULANTLY
THE PRIVATE VIEW	THE OFFICE GOLFER	LADY: WELL, HOW DID THE WEDDING GO OFF, COOK? COOK: VERY WELL INDEED, MA'AM, THANK YOU. THERE WAS NO DRUNKENESS & NOT AN ANGRY WORD SPOKEN
VISITOR: 'OH THE DINNER'S FINISHED! I SUPPOSE I CAN HAVE SOME BOILED EGGS?' WAITER: 'NOT IN 'ERE SIR BUT I'LL GET THE WAITRESS TO LAY YOU SOME IN THE COFFEE ROOM'	BUTCHER 'HAS YOUR HUSBAND GOT ANY WORK, MRS GREEN?' CUSTOMER 'NO 'E 'AINT DOIN' NOTHIN'. YER SEE 'E'S BIN WAITIN' FOR YEARS EXPECTING TO START ON THE CHANNEL TUNNEL'	10-MINUTE SMOKE BREAK
ICE SKATES	HEARTH RUG	WALL DECORATIONS
THE SPIKE	A ROSE RED SETTER HALF AS OLD AS TOM	A MAJOR MYSTERY – WHY DO THE MCC HAVE WEATHER-VANE WITH A LIKENESS OF THE FAMOUS BAGGY-NOSED SCOTS COMEDIAN BILLY CONNOLLY THEREON?
IS THAT LEGAL?	TAKING UP FOUR OR FIVE YARDS OF THE LOUNGE SEAT	THE GIRL WHO WON THE DSO
I HATE THE WAY THE CAT PLAYS WITH THE MOUSE WHEN HE CATCHES ONE	CELEBRITY ROLLER COASTER	SINCE YOU INSIST ON A STRAIGHT ANSWER HERE AND NOW, FOR YOUR OWN PEACE OF MIND, I DO PREFER IT WITH OTHER MEN, YES...
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE TODAY? WHAT'S ALL THE EXCITEMENT?	BRISTOW! - YOU HAVE done nothing but gaze out of the window since the time you got in this morning...	I WONDER HOW KEEN THIS GEORGE DAVIDSON REALLY IS?
WELL, SO MUCH FOR THE HORS D'OEUVRES...	DINERSAURS	WIMBLEDOG
FISH CAKES	BABY ON BOARD	MASK A PONY
THE KNIGHT WHO INVENTED CHAMPAGNE	HAPPY EASTER	HAPPY 1972
HIS HOLIDAY DID HIM THE WORLD OF GOOD – AS THEY SAY	DEAR SIR MAX, ONE OF THE BEST LUNCHES EVER - I THOUGHT THE SWAN COURSE WAS MARVELLOUS!	OBELISK ON THE VILLAGE GREEN
DON'T BE BEATEN	'YOU MUST MEAN SOME OTHER GUY - I'M AN ATHEIST'	REFEREE'S MERIT TABLE
'DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN THIS?'	MUD CAST	UNEXPECTED BLOCKAGE
"COMING IN HERE AT 87 WITH NOTHING WORSE THAN A BUSTED BONE HITS THAT ONE ON THE HEAD FOR A START."	THE LONDON CLINC	(...THE ACCUSED ENTERED THE COURT AND APPROACHED THE DUCK)
BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE	RUDOLF THE WEB NOSED REINDEER	BLOODY BIRTHDAYS!
BADLEYS BANK V GOODMINSTER BANK	WORKING WITH BEASTS	they'll be unbearable when they get the swimmng pool!
THE DREAM	"I THINK I'D RATHER LOOK FOR ANOTHER CASHPOINT."	THE CROWD BEHAVIOUR IS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE EVERY GAMES
'IF IT WEREN'T FOR ALL THESE UTILITY BARONS NONE OF US WOULD HAVE TO QUEUE'	I THINK IT MUST BE CHRISTMAS	TAKE NO NOTICE - IT'S JUST THE NORMAL BOARD MEETING.
"AND HERE'S ANOTHER ONE FOR YOU - DID YOU KNOW, USING A MOBILE 'PHONE CAN CAUSE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!?!"	PAPER DARTS	DARLING, WOULD ONE BE JUSTIFIED IN DESCRIBING MESSRS. GAITSKELL AND CROSSMAN AS THE ARGYLLS OF THE POLITICAL WORLD?
THE CONFINEMENT ROOM OF THE 'RUE DES MOULINS'	YOUR FLY IS UNDONE MONSIEUR COURBET	THE LAURA ASHLEY ROOM OF THE 'RUE DES MOULINS'
I UNDERSTAND THE MARQUIS OF QUEENSBURY IS HERE TONIGHT	LONG, SOFT AND STRONG	FATHER O'BUBBLEGUM WILL BLESS THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL PROPER SOLEMNITY
RUMOURS WERE ALREADY CIRCULATING THAT THE MATCH MIGHT HAVE BEEN FIXED	'' HOLD ON TIGHT FORBES. IT'S OUR ONLY CHANCE OF ESCAPE! '' ROARED MCEWEN	IT'S THE COUNCIL'S NEW LITTER BIN DESIGN TO ENCOURAGE YOUNG PEOPLE TO BE MORE TIDY
COME ON DARREN - WE'VE GOT HIS WALLET AND MOBILE - LEAVE THE PEARLS!	SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP	...UPPER RIGHT, SEVEN, BUCCAL FILLING...UPPER RIGHT SIX MESIAL FILLING WITH PALATAL EXTENSION
THE BURGHERS OF MCDONALDS	ON THE SLIDE	CIRCUS-RIDER'S DREAM OF THE GRAND NATIONAL
THERE!...I TOLD YOU THE DVD PLAYER WAS FAULTY	OH DONT MIND HIM, HE'S JUST AFTER A FEW TITBITS	BRIAN'S TRYING TO GROW A BEARD
I REMEMBER ALAN BENNETT AT SCHOOL - QUITE A LAD HE WERE....	BUY HONEY!	HE WON'T READ HARRY POTTER
DAY PLANNER	BURNING THE CAMEL AT BOTH ENDS	SITTING DUCK
SAY WHAT YOU LIKE, TONY BLAIR'S DOING A TERRIFIC JOB LORD NEWMAN OF CARTOON	LET ME THROUGH - I'M A DOCTOR	MAY I EXPRESS MY DEEP SORROW FOR SLAVERY
THE PERILS OF PICKING ONES NOSE.	"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES EVERYBODY! IT'S THE COMING OF CHRISTIANITY!!"	DEAR SIR MAX, THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YET ANOTHER BOAT SHOW LUNCH, AND FOR THE WONDERFUL COMPANY. LOVE G.X
YOU ARE NOW ENTERING LIVERPOOL HARD SHOULDER (TO CRY ON)	OBESE CHILDREN CROSSING	GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD - I HAVE DECIDED TO END IT ALL.
EGYPTIAN	IT'S VIRGIN'S NEW INTER-CITY	RIOT, SAT 2.30 - IF WET, IN THE CHAPEL
AAAAAAEEEEEAA!	SPORTS NIGHT	INTENSIVE CARE? MR DIBLY HERE TWO MILES SOUTH OF BASINGSTOKE HAVING AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE
THE BURGERS OF MCDONALDS	PERSONALLY I BLAME IT ALL ON LE CORBUSIER	OH NO! IT'S AN EAR! DIDN'T VINCENT GET THE LIST??
MORE CONTEMPORARY RUBBISH!!	HEY!...WAIT A MINUTE!...THAT'S NOT US!	"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I JUST KNEW IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS!."
"ET TU BRUTUS?."	TIED UP IN THE TACKLE	IMPORTANT POST AT THE CITY GROUND
UNLUCKY SPECTATOR	WE WANT YOUR WOOLLENS FOR CASH !	FLIP FOR IT
STITCHED UP